Friday recovery

So I've been pretty sick, kindof derailing my plans to get a ton of stuff done this week and weekend. Yesterday I could barely move, not only had to take a sick day but was passed out for most of it. Finally got up in the evening and did laundry and even cleaned a tiny bit. I'm doing better but my head is still super stuffy, I'm kinda warm all over and tired but getting better, just in time too cause there is so, so much going on.

I did get a little reading in while I was awake, finishing Marian Keyes's Anybody Out There? and picking up Robert Wilder's Daddy Needs a Drink, which I'm almost done with and really enjoying. Best thing? We now share an editor. I hadn't realized that part of the super cool thing about getting a fancy ass book deal was joining this very established group of writers who are all out there supporting one another. Or maybe not all, cause I don't know everyone, but the three people I've been in contact with this week are all super impressive to me. It is a bond and feels really cool to feel like I'm part of a group and that they are all so enthusiastic about her. I really believe in working with people and supporting other writers, and vice versa; that way it doesn't feel like such a big scary jungle. When I walk into a bookstore, I tend to find myself in one of two moods: envy or intrigue. I'm either totally jealous of the success of all the authors on the front tables, or I'm intrigued and want to snatch up all the books and take them home and hide out for a month to read them all. I try to cultivate the latter and minimize the former, though I'm sure they're both natural. One of the ways I combat the jealousy is to interview other writers, pick their brains, investigate, and read, read, read. I sometimes forget that reading, as pleasureable as it is, is also learning. I learn what makes me laugh, what works, what doesn't. I rarely read erotica though I will be digging into a bunch of erotic novels, including Dahlia Schweitzer's Seduce Me, Saskia Walker's Double Dare, Alison Tyler's With or Without You, and Cathryn Fox's Pleasure Control. At the same time as I want to learn from and enjoy these authors, I don't want to limit myself to only what an "erotic novel" can be, but whatever my novel wants itself to be. I want to absorb as much information and technique as I can but also give my brain and creativity free reign to make my novel(s) the best they can be.

One more thing about supporting fellow writers: it comes back to you. I'm thrilled to see Glamour Girls listed in Dahlia's bio in Seduce Me. It makes me proud as an editor and that's as it should be. Lauren Baratz-Logsted wrote about a similar topic on her Amazon blog. I really feel that there IS an erotica writing community as well as a writing community, and that as much as the actual writing takes place alone, in our heads, and often separated from the rest of society in order to get onto the page, after that, well, you really do need to be social and be active. Or maybe need is too strong a word, but I just tend to be community-minded anyway. I love meeting new writers, editors, agents. I practically live on Amazon and jump on anything that sounds interesting to me, or might to my friends. I love sending books as gifts, like I did this week. When I read a good book (or even a bad book), I want to talk about it with people. I love that I can compare two of-the-moment blogger memoirs with a close friend who thinks a lot like I do. To me, that's half the fun of reading. It's not necessarily a passive act. That doesn't mean I like everything I read, or review, but I tend to get excited about books that intrigue me. I plan to reread The Glass Castle, but I also would be happy if everyone I know read it too. I love seeing the reactions to it, because pretty much everyone I've suggested that book too has also fallen in love with it. I know that this is a business, and money certainly plays a major role. But I never want to forget what falling in love with a book is like, with realizing something big is happening right on the page in front of me. I never want to forget that a real live human being with feelings, just like me, wrote those words. That doesn't mean I have to like them, but even when I vociferously disagree with their content, I want to do so with maturity and humility and graciousness. I may not always achieve that, but it's a goal. And it all helps make writing, editing, and running a reading series feel less like traditional "work" and more like something creative and exciting and inspiring. Tiring, yes, a pain in the ass, often yes, but something I wouldn't give up for anything.

What else . . . probably have to bail on this weekend's sexy spanking photo shoot, unless I make a miraculous recovery. Gotta get better for next week's talk at TES on Tuesday and In The Flesh on Wednesday. Here are a few links while I try to become coherent enough to have something of interest to say about Wednesday's Big Jewish Quiz Thing and other topics:

over 200 comments at Ann Althouse's blog about Jessica Valenti's breasts

The phrase "cupcake blueballs" is now in my vocabulary

You can pre-order Diane Mapes's anthology Single State of the Union: 30 Single Women on Life, Love, and the Pursuit of Happiness

And a bunch of info about This Film Is Not Yet Rated, which I hope to see for real this weekend:

Julian Sanchez, "This Post Is Not Yet Rated"

Out of Focus on This Film Is Not Yet Rated

Cinekink's take

The official petition

Director Kirby Dick's blog at IFC

From the This Film Is Not Yet Rated timeline, aka "MPAA's Greatest Hits" (I'm most interested in Coming Soon, which I'll be writing about in Sexual Freedom for All, which is a bit on pause at the moment as I try to finish up a ton of other stuff but will still be happening at some point)

1999 - Collette Burson's "Coming Soon," a teen comedy about three girls' search for an orgasm, is rated NC-17 when the filmmaker expected a PG-13 rating, prompting questions of whether the MPAA favors depictions of male sexuality over female sexuality. In an interview with Seattle Weekly, Burson said, "Men who have issues with their sexuality, or issues with their daughters' sexuality—we're talking about men in their 40s with seventeen-year-old daughters—they're the audience that does not respond to this movie, and unfortunately many of them are in marketing." ("Not now, girls" by Bret Fetzer, 7/7/1999)
more - http://www.seattleweekly.com/film/9927/film-fetzer.html

1999 - The trailer for "Twin Falls Idaho," an indie film about conjoined twins, is rejected because the MPAA finds a scene showing a woman in bed with her husband inappropriate, since his attached brother is also present.

1999 - Kimberly Pierce's Oscar nominated "Boys Don't Cry" is rated NC-17. Moments from a tender love scene have to be cut. Pierce asserts that these frames unnerved raters not because of gratuitous graphic content, but because both characters are female.

1999 - In order to receive an R instead of an NC-17, Jamie Babbit removes a scene where a fully clothed female masturbates from her film "But I'm a Cheerleader." Also in 1999, the R-rated "American Pie" is released. Even the "American Pie" trailers include scenes of a male teenager masturbating.